


return

by Antarktica



Series: Run [5]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, F/M, Partnership, Post-Oregon feels tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 11:38:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14471949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antarktica/pseuds/Antarktica
Summary: Cragen had called her, told her someone needed a handler, gave her a location. She went there, as fast as she could, knowing where running will lead her to.





	return

Oregon was fine. It was a new breath of fresh air. No one knew her. They can never tell she was running away. People pass by her and they didn't recognize who she was.

There was peace in unfamiliarity for once for Olivia. It hurt her before but now it made her whole. Made her feel complete at some point. 

It broke her sometimes. That was inevitable. Olivia had built thousands, miles tall walls but whatever found its way inside, it can never be taken out to fix her. To ease her pain. 

She was dreaming last night. Of course, dreams. That's what one of the tree huggers told her. That she'd been murmuring something. A name. 

Elliot.

It pissed her off how she could still remember that bloody name. He doesn't know where she is, but he follows, he haunts her still. He makes her crave the comfort he provides, the one that instills peace within her for lifetimes. For the many nights she faces, alone.

Apparently, she'd been doing it a lot.  _And it's fucking ridiculous._ She left him. She left Elliot because he left her first. He probably thought she'd be just taking a leave after all the things. But no, that wasn't enough for Olivia. It'll never be enough. 

Maybe he'll call her a coward. But that's also a  _fucking lie_ too. He was the coward. She'd always been facing him, properly. When his marriage was in shambles. When he got separated. She was always there. She even started thinking they'd have a chance. 

Ah, but, things never happen the way you want it to. It'll never be the case with Olivia. 

She comes back and there's Dani. Dani Beck. Blonde, enthusiastic, can probably look out for herself.They looked comfortable with each other. It was working well for Elliot. Good for him. So, she leaves. Tells Cragen not to tell Elliot. She knows he will but at least she didn't have to face him right now. Olivia does not want to face him right now. 

_I can't do this anymore. I can't be looking over my shoulder, making sure you're okay._

The way she walks home reminds her of things that was said she'd rather forget. The way her tears threatened to spill made her aware of how there were still so many holes in her soul. How broken she still is. How much it hurt to see that sight as much as she'd hide it. 

Olivia does not run away but stays secluded, still at one point in time, where everything hurts so much she couldn't locate the pain anymore. And she was drowning. She wasn't in water, but she felt like she was drowning.

Out of breath. Out of life. 

A drumming beat wakes her. And for one night, she felt like she was fixed. Cragen had called her, told her someone needed a handler, gave her a location. She went there, as fast as she could, knowing where running will lead her to. 

"Cragen called me. After what you did last night, I've been assigned to be your handler." 

It was as if it was their first meeting, again. Olivia felt the relief that running had done to her. She had walls now. Not gullible to his charming smiles. Perhaps, just perhaps, she'll be safe from his presence. From him. From Elliot.


End file.
